Beyond the Sea Read online

  Begin Reading

  Table of Contents

  A Note About the Author

  Copyright Page

  The author and publisher have provided this e-book to you for your personal use only. You may not make this e-book publicly available in any way. Copyright infringement is against the law. If you believe the copy of this e-book you are reading infringes on the author’s copyright, please notify the publisher at: us.macmillanusa.com/piracy.

  For my son Elliot

  and my father Pat,

  mariner turned coastguard

  Who knows if life be death or death be life?

  —Euripides

  It is not a dream of storm weather that follows Bolivar into the town, but words overheard last night, perhaps in Gabriela’s bar, that give him the feeling now of a dream. He thinks, it might have been the chatter of Alexis or José Luis – who knows, they are such troublemakers. And yet this feeling of dream persists. It is the feeling of a world once known, but forgotten, asking from over the sea.

  His sandalled feet follow the road over the crumbling bridge. Past the empty beachside cabanas. Past where the nesting sea turtles scallop the beach. His eyes seeking out beyond the lagoon but his sight is drawn towards the shore. An oilcan lies washed up and surrounding it a glittering of dead popocha fish. He fixes his baseball cap and walks onto the beach.

  He thinks, it is just a dozen or so, but still. Even the beggars won’t touch them. There is a sickness in the rivers that no one will ever explain.

  He studies the indigo dawn for trouble. He studies the clouds and the wind. That the ocean has a hue is a lie among men. He cannot remember who said this. For the sea contains all colour and in that way everything is within it. This might be true, who knows what you hear.

  * * *

  The plastic white seats at Rosa’s café lean like drunk sleepers to their tables. He slaps at a net full of beach balls hanging from the palapa roof. Damnit, he says. Angel is not waiting. He kicks a seat past the beach screen and the back of the seat cracks when he sits. His hands rest on the spill of his gut as he studies them. Such hands are too big, perhaps, and he has often thought this. A forearm for a wrist. A thigh for an arm. Shoulders for a neck. But what else do you expect for a fisherman?

  He turns his head and shouts, Rosa!

  From here he can see the panga boat he thinks of as his own, alone and high up on the beach. The white hull with Camille painted in turquoise. Angel is not there either. He can see the ghosts of two men, his earlier self and Angel last night and how they sat in that panga, moon-drawn effigies of fishermen drinking beer amidst the bodiless shouting and the gaunt light thrown by the bars on the strip.

  He calls again for Rosa, can hear that crazy Alexander at his singing, the old man’s voice a glass-bright tremolo. He leans until he can see him on a cooling box of some undetermined long-ago colour. The flashing of nails as he repairs sea-worn nets. Each day Bolivar tries not to listen, yet still he listens, for such songs evoke in him feelings he cannot explain. Sometimes a feeling like guilt. Sometimes a feeling of being alive long ago, as though he had lived the life of another, and what are you supposed to make of such a thing?

  Loose sand rolls across the matting. He puts a finger to his nose and gouts snot. Rosa!

  It is the Virgin of Guadalupe on her high shelf who watches Bolivar as though he were an apparition gliding through the hanging beads of the door. There is Rosa asleep on a hammock, she is always asleep. He reaches for the remote control and turns the TV on to a game from the night before.

  Rosa! he says. Have you seen Angel?

  The woman stirs with a vexed sound. With pendulous feet she swings out of the hammock and stands in the half-light tying up her hair. Just her eyes he can see as if they can draw what there is of the light towards them. He blinks at her twice and an old part of his mind thinks of her as some witch in the dark until she rolls up the screen and her body finds its expression. His eyes following the light as it falls upon her loose-shirted abdomen, upon her glossed hands and thighs. His eyes prizing her the way a man prizes a woman.

  Has Angel not turned up yet, Rosa?

  That box of limes, Bolivar. Did you bring them? I asked you last night.

  He is either here or not here. I have just a few limes to take with me on the boat.

  How Rosa seems to sigh in everything she does. Her body is sadness bending to the fridge. She pulls from it two beer bottles, the movement of hinging upward is a weariness that does not belong to a woman as young as this. She uncaps both bottles without looking, rests a stare upon some faraway thought out past the lagoon.

  Bolivar holds her with a look as he takes a long drink. A goal sounds on the TV and he leans for a moment out the beaded door, returns wiping his mouth with his wrist.

  You will not believe it, he says. Remember that great fish kill last year? I just saw some popocha washed up dead on the beach.

  Rosa studies him a moment.

  She says, some man came round here looking for you last night.

  What man?

  I don’t know. He said he was going to cut off your ears.

  It is him.

  Who?

  I have done something stupid. But I will fix it quick.

  He watches the way her right eye pinches when she drinks. Watches this cool brick room where she lives. A hammock and two palm-wood chairs and a humming box refrigerator. The trace odour of sweat. Her clothes hung upon nails.

  He reaches out to touch her wrist but Rosa pulls back, the words passing unthought out his mouth.

  Some day, Rosa, you should marry me. I am only a fisherman, it is true. But I will pay off your TV. Maybe even buy you a jeep. I will buy you some furniture for your clothes. I’ll give you all the limes you want.

  Rosa stares at his sun-browned feet, the taped plastic sandals, the plump spread toes. The big toe on his left foot missing a toenail.

  Bolivar turns his foot inward as she looks at him.

  She sighs. I have so much to do, Bolivar. Those limes. I have to go.

  They listen to Alexander laughing to himself.

  Bolivar turns towards the door and the old man begins again to sing.

  That fool, he says. Whoever knows what nonsense he sings.

  Rosa says, those songs are sung to the bones of the dead.

  Bolivar pulls at a piece of wall plaster.

  This place is falling apart, Rosa. One of these days the wind and the sea will carry you away.

  Rosa shrugs. I do not think today will be the day.

  * * *

  Arturo! Bossman! Bolivar steps into Arturo’s office with its front facing onto the beach. He takes a long inhale. The freshening breeze carries within it the faint rot of the sea. He shouts again and fixes his cap. A two-way radio crackles then fades into faraway static. Arturo is where he always is, he thinks. Asleep in his room with that woman or watching TV or maybe he is at Gabriela’s already having a drink, grouching about who is shortening his pockets.

  He walks into the back yard and sees Little Arturo sitting on the steps. The boy a direct image of the father or what he may once have been. The heavy-browed face that is a sign of the man to come.

  Where is the bossman? I need him quick.

  The boy’s eyes rest vacantly upon Bolivar. He shrugs and continues to thumb at a phone.

  Is he in or not?

  Above them a door opens and a head appears with hair askew. Arturo moves barefoot down the cement stairway and meets Bolivar with a flat-faced look. Bolivar studies him. Arturo is wearing the same grey vest and red shorts he wears every day. For sure, he sleeps in his clothes, those clothes have become skin.

  Arturo says, come here, Porky, I want to show you something.

  Bolivar follows Arturo and sta
nds before a peacock-toned 4x4 jeep. Arturo points a finger at it.

  Look at this, Porky. Tell me, who would do such a thing?

  Bolivar follows the man’s finger and hunches down. He runs his hand along a scratch keyed deep into the paintwork. What travels into his skin is a feeling of guilt and yet he is sure he did not do this. He searches his mind and meets a feeling it was Angel. He stands up and sighs, fixes his cap, pulls at the waistband of his shorts.

  Looks to me like some drunk, maybe. Or just some kid. There are lots of kids causing trouble. Tell me, Arturo, bossman, have you seen Angel? He has not showed up.

  Arturo turns upon Bolivar with an examining look. Then he closes his eyes and when they open again they rest mournfully on the jeep.

  I cannot believe it, Porky. Nothing in this world stays new. I thought you had gone out yesterday. You should be coming back in today. Why didn’t you go out with the others?

  Ring him.

  Ring who?

  Angel.

  What for?

  I need to go out but how can I go without Angel? I do not fish with anybody else.

  Arturo exhales deeply and turns towards the sea’s ashen hue. Then he turns and stares at the man before him.

  Listen to me, Bolivar. There is a storm coming from the north-east. The bulletin is out. Look at the beach. Most of the boats are pulled up. The rest are coming back in.

  That is not true, Arturo. I watched three boats go out. Memo’s boat and two others.

  Yes. Memo is crazy like you, Porky.

  Ring Angel.

  Look, Bolivar. Nobody is sending you out.

  Ring him.

  Why?

  Bolivar winces, begins to pull at an ear.

  Look, I need to make some money quick.

  Why don’t you ring him?

  Bolivar shrugs. My phone is dead. It is broken. I have no credit. That last woman took it when she ran off. Look, I am only a fisherman.

  Arturo pulls a phone from his back pocket and squints as he dials. He stares at the jeep then shakes his head and hangs up, dials another number.

  Hey, Skinny, I have Porky here with a spare hand down his pants. Have you seen Angel? His phone is dead. Go knock at his door.

  Bolivar watches the man on the phone, watches the image of the man as expressed in the jeep’s burnish. The man become shimmer, a reflection of will that is the devouring soul within him. He watches Arturo’s face, how of late it has begun to deepen in colour as if exhibiting some shade of stagnating blood, the blood pitching towards some final dark colour. The flesh is coming loose over the bones, he thinks. It is happening as you watch.

  Arturo’s eyes are lost in a stare as he listens, his eyes seeing not directly the beach nor the lagoon but beyond, past the surfers and shrimp fishermen, past the hazed and unmet horizon.

  Arturo nods and hangs up.

  Angel is not at home, Porky.

  Maybe he is sick or dead or something. You need to find me somebody quick. And make sure they are good.

  I will find you somebody, Porky. But why can’t you go out like everyone else? You come here and I give you a cabin and you used to fish but now you drink the days away instead. You believe in nothing. You care about nothing other than yourself.

  How is this true?

  Prove to me it isn’t true.

  Listen, Arturo, bossman. What difference does it make when I go out, if it is this time or that? OK, so I did not go out at sunrise today like the others. But I do what I like. I know all the best places. I go out farther than anyone else. They go out thirty miles, forty. They are like children. I go out a hundred miles if I have to. I go to the reaches of the earth. I have no limit.

  Porky. There is a storm coming that is really going to blow.

  Bolivar studies the sky.

  It looks fine to me.

  * * *

  Bolivar straightens up from the boat to see Arturo stepping towards him with a long-haired youth. He hurries them along with his eyes then looks to the sea. He leans out and pulls into the boat a refuse sack full of ice. From the verge of his sight he studies the youth. It is in the youth’s slack walk, he thinks. In those loose arms and wrists. That stooped build. He is an insect from the mangroves, for sure.

  He leans out of the boat and spits onto the beach.

  As they near the boat Bolivar stares directly at the youth until the youth lowers his gaze.

  Then Bolivar turns to Arturo. What is this? he says.

  He picks up the sack and pours the ice into a cooling box six foot long that rests in the centre of the boat.

  This is your new shipmate, Porky. Say hello, Hector.

  Bolivar steps around the cooler and stands in the stern facing Arturo.

  Find me somebody else, bossman. This kid knows nothing about fishing.

  He turns and watches the youth’s collapsing expression, the stumbling tongue, how fright alights the eyes and channels the limbs until the youth stands with his hands unsure.

  Bolivar balls the empty sack and throws it onto the beach.

  Arturo says, go easy, Porky. Hector here has plenty of experience. Isn’t that right, Hector?

  He puts a hand upon the boy’s arm and squeezes.

  Hector’s tongue struggles to life.

  I— I worked the lagoon on Papa’s boat last year. I worked the motor. Back and forth along— Look. I couldn’t care less.

  Arturo jerks Hector’s arm.

  Hector says, OK. How much is he paying?

  Arturo nods at the boy and smiles.

  His father is a cousin of Ernesto who fishes with my brother. I found him just now on the beach. You can give him a loan of some gloves, or whatever.

  Bolivar pretends to consider this for a moment but he is studying instead the jungled hill behind the town. He has never really noticed it. How it sits like a great wave woven to stillness by nature. He considers this thought and finds it strange, imagines lying in bed with Rosa. Imagines having her inside the cooler, there is enough room for two in there though it would be a squeeze. But for the smell of fish it would be the best lay ever.

  Bolivar folds his arms and stares at the youth.

  He says, fishing the lagoon is not fishing.

  Hector shrugs and shakes free of Arturo’s grip and makes as though to walk off.

  He says, I have other things to do.

  Bolivar studies the sea where gulls whirl upon two approaching boats. He looks down and sees his two ears sliced off and lying on the sand. He turns to Arturo who has taken hold of the youth by the elbow.

  OK, bossman, he says. Just this once. I have to leave quick. I’ll pay him thirty.

  Arturo says, forty, Porky, forty.

  Bolivar bends and takes two empty petrol containers and bundles them into Hector’s arms.

  He says, take these to the bossman’s tank and fill them. Then bring six more.

  Arturo says, hey Porky, I met Daniel Paz just now. He says something happened between you two last night.

  Between who?

  You and Angel.

  What do you mean?

  He said something happened.

  Nothing happened.

  Something.

  Nope. We drank in Rosa’s and then in Gabriela’s and then we drank in the boat and then I went home and maybe he kept drinking. Whoever knows with him.

  So where is he?

  He went to his mother’s, Arturo. He forgot. He was arrested again for taking his whistle out in front of that policewoman and asking her to blow it. How do I know, Arturo? I am only a fisherman.

  * * *

  He walks with gloved hands staring at his feet. Down the strip road beneath the palm trees. The sound of a revving truck reaching obscurely into his thoughts. A known figure forms before him, utters some greeting and steps past. It is Daniel Paz, but Bolivar does not look up. He is thinking about the man who is looking for him. He thinks about his ears. He takes a look up over the treetops and out past the lagoon. It might be true there is a storm coming, he
thinks. But it does not look like much.

  * * *

  Bolivar walks towards the panga carrying two buckets of sardine bait. His gaze locked upon Hector. The way the youth leans against the boat chatting into the phone, one hand loose, the small mouth laughing.

  Bolivar thinks, he is still some kind of insect, for sure.

  Hector watches for a moment then ends the call, begins to clear his throat.

  Listen, Bolivar. I cannot go out. Daniel Paz said it is going to storm.

  Bolivar laughs. What are you talking about?

  Hector laughs but the laugh stops short under the eyes. Then his mouth tightens. He pulls the hair out of his eyes, meets Bolivar with a direct look, his body straightening out of its slack expression.

  Bolivar lifts his hands from his hips and folds his arms so that he stands before the youth bulked and implacable. Hector’s jaw tightens a moment then falls loose. He goes to speak but his eyes drop from Bolivar’s face, his gaze travelling to meet a faded name-tattoo on Bolivar’s forearm, then a beggar bending with a stick far up on the beach. When he speaks he is staring at the ground.

  Look, he says. I cannot go even if I wanted to. I have a game later. I promised my girl I would meet her.

  Bolivar loosens his arms. He slides his left foot out of his sandal, bends and rubs sand off the base of his foot, puts the sandal back on. He sees Hector noticing the nailless toe. He takes a step closer, looks at Hector’s ears.

  What did I say I would pay you?

  Forty.

  I will give you sixty.

  Hector’s mouth opens and his tongue moves but no sound comes out. His hands go into his pockets. He pulls out his phone. He half-turns and pretends to thumb at it.

  Then he says, you are crazy, Bolivar.

  Tell me, Hector, what is a storm? It is a little windy, that is all. The sea gets a little choppy. Real fishermen are used to this type of thing. I have not yet met a storm that is the boss of me. We will go straight out and come straight back in again. No trouble. Look at this boat. It is the best boat here out of all the others. I talked to the bossman. He listens to the radio. He says, whatever this is, it will blow itself out pretty quick. It is nothing to be afraid of.